Life as I know it

February 13, 2008 by amanda.stebbins.

It’s hard to believe that it’s been nearly a full month since I returned home. I feel like I haven’t done a whole lot and at the same time accomplished quite a bit… strange how that works.

I cannot begin to tell you how strange and yet wonderful it has been to be home and to hear over here in the States the confirmation of things I’ve been thinking about for the past several months. The vision I started to develop over in Australia for my life and for my “spheres of influence” has begun to go deeper via just God being Himself and talking to me as well as through listening to other people speak about what God has laid on their hearts- funny, it’s the same as what’s been on mine.

At the same time, it’s interesting to come back and to see brokenness in my culture in a completely new light. Though I cannot group every single struggle I’ve seen completely under just one umbrella, I see one of the main struggles of our culture in America to be insecurity. It rears its head in so many forms, and my heart aches because I’ve seen perfect Love set people free from insecurity, namely myself. Kinda like Paul told his audience that he was a Pharisee of Pharisees, kept the law… pretty much gave his pedigree profile, I can stand before you and say that I was the most insecure person I’ve met in my life. I had it mastered to the point of misery on my part, always seeing things as my fault even when they weren’t, always thinking less of myself, always putting myself in a bad light when I scrutinized who I was. And to top it all off, I never actually did figure out who I was. Til God came and showed me love and handed me a mirror as he drenched me in that very love. And now I’m not the same. I want that for everyone. I ache, to the point of tears on a few occasions, for all people to grasp that indescribable freedom of knowing who they are and knowing that they are enough just “as is.” They are not too much and they are not too little… just right.

So, life as I know it, is a constant outpouring of love. To the business man clad in Armani all the way down to the bum on the street who is afraid to make eye contact with me due to some idea we have in society about a social hierarchy. I want to break molds… I suppose I have a rebellious side in me. I don’t want to follow the status quo the world around me tries to superimpose in my life. I want to be known for my love because knowing that love means that a person has actually encountered God, regardless of if they believe in Him or not.

Love will solve all our problems in the world. Love is the key to contentment. And yes, I may sound like a hippie of sorts, but I will stand by the notion of the power of love til the day I die…and then on into eternity. Love is talked about in the Bible hundreds of times. Love is what people are always looking for… why else do we have eHarmony and all those other web date finders? Love is what at least half of music is written about. Love is what we dream of and long for our entire lives, and when we come in contact with genuine, selfless love, it is a treasure worth forsaking everything else in the world for. I cannot wait to see a generation set on fire with the power in that thought.

I love life. I love to live day to day experiencing God, talking with people, enjoying the time I’m given. It doesn’t last, and I want to look back on my life and see that I have invested it all wisely. I also want to look back and see that I’ve not wasted a drop of Jesus’ blood. So I live, and I live fully because Jesus died so that I could do just that. I love people. I love difficulty and hardship because it gives me the opportunity to see things through God’s eyes. Not always easy, but absolutely amazing.

And now I’m tired… hopefully I get to work tomorrow. Substitute’s days are never guaranteed. Kinda like life. I’ll leave you with that analogy for the evening… much love to you all. I hope you catch a glimpse of the King’s love for you today.

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