Two Worlds

Two worlds are colliding in my mind. The world I left in Australia and the world I meet here at home. It’s strange to me how six months has so much of an impact on me…how the time I spent in Australia became my everyday routine, and now my mind and my heart are trying to reconcile the past and the present. My life is changed. My heart is different. Who I am is not who I was, and yet it is. So many paradoxes.

I have found that God is a God that likes to move…He likes differences, He loves diversity…He created it. He likes to take me out of my comfort zone right about the time it becomes such and to put me in places where I learn to submit to him. And in those places of strangeness, of inconceivable loneliness at time, of silence, of pure faith… that is where He teaches. His classroom is not one of lectures all the time, but one of action.

My world back here in America has kept moving while I was away… I knew it would. And yet I didn’t realize how differently my world in Australia would move. Neither is better or worse, just different. And now it’s my duty and joy to merge the two…to be able to live in this American world with the things I learned halfway across the world. Learning to love with a love I’ve experienced in new ways the past few months. Learning to live as Christ lived.

That’s ultimately all I want. I want to be like Jesus. I want to be a mirror. The spittin’ image of my Daddy. I want to talk like He talked, with the authority and power that he had, I want to see the way that He sees things, I want to forgive the way He forgave, I want to heal like Him, to have His understanding and wisdom, and most of all to have His love. There are days where I just ache to be with Him… to be able to absorb as much as I can from Him.

Worry. Today I was folding clothes, hanging out around the house when I saw a segment come on the Today show talking about chronic worrying. Research is showing that worry is partially linked to our DNA…hence the fact that we are imperfect from the fall and we’ve inherited Adam’s bloodline, including the part that worries. I could have told the researchers that and saved them millions of dollars. But then, the psychologist talked about how we are not stuck in that state… we do not have to worry. Yet another lesson I’ve learned from the Bible being put to practical use in society… too bad society tries to do it all without God as a general statement.

So what I’ve learned… I’ve learned that when things get out of perspective, when I start to focus on everything going on around me, when I feel like I’m starting to drown in my own thoughts and emotions, I can look at God and the excitement He has placed before me in what I am doing in life, and the furious chaos of life dies down to a still peace. A wise man once told a group of people not to worry about their lives. And so I will follow His lead. Why worry… what good will it do me? I cannot change the past, and what will happen will most likely not be affected positively by my over analyzing. So I will enjoy life. I will enjoy people, and I will enjoy God. And I will lay aside the addiction of worrying, of over-analyzing, of looking everywhere but at God.

It’s good to be home, but I have to have an outlet somewhere for the thoughts that come in the silence of my house. Therefore, I write.

This entry was posted on January 24, 2008 at 1:41 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.